Try to be Honest

Di balik setiap kejadian yang tidak mengenakan..
at least yang tidak sesuai dengan rencana harapan...
pasti ada moral stories yang bisa diambil...

seperti kondisi gw sekarang...
kehilangan barang bukan akhir dari segalanya..
walau itu barang berharga sekalipun...

setidak nya gw tidak kehilangan hidup yg gw miliki..
i mean..
there's must be another way to escape..
pasti ada jalan keluar..

bukan kah setiap masalah yang dialammi oleh manusia..
seperti ujian untuk menjadi lebih baik dari sebelumnya..
secara mental pasti..
bagaimana seseorang terlebih dahulu menangani emosi yang ia miliki..
next adalah.. bagaimana seseorang itu bisa bangkit kembali

bukankah itu adalah inti dari kehidupan..
there's gonna be lot of unexpected thing will come..
tapi yang harus diingat..
layaknya setelah hujan badai..
akan ada pelangi yang berwarna warni...
serta matahari yang akan kembali bersinar..

layak nya pada malam yang gelap sekali pun..
bintang dan bulan akan setia menerangi..
jika tidak hujan dan  kabut tentu nya..

setelah berpikir dan berkabung selama hampir 24 jam..

one thing for sure...
the affection of not a good feel is...
nafsu makan jadi tidak menentu...

lumayan...
selera makan gw gak kemaruk kayak last week..
dimana gw mengalami kenaikan berat badan..

setelah berpikir cukup lama..
gw sampai pada kesimpulan..
jika barang yg penting sekalipun hilang...
satu2 nya jalan keluar adalah..
mengganti nya dengan yang baru...

no matter kind of this stuff..

my weakness is..
i try hard to keep in mind be positive..
that's my stuff will be back...

but even at the time goes by..
gw harus merelakan nya..

dengan merelakan setidaknya membuat hati lebih sedikit lega..
dibanding menyalahkan diri sendiri
atas semua yang terjadi...

sudah sepatut nya untuk memulai awal yang lebih baik..
mengakui dan menyatakan jika barang berharga itu sendiri hilang...

May... Hard day

There isn't special thing at this month..
just ike usually...
today rain..
tomorrow hottest.. because the sun shine brightly
at the other day clowdy
the next rain and sunny come together...

But there's a day..
when i find myself struggling more than before...

from the beginning of May..
there's Bubu B'Day...

the next week my relative passed away...
a lot of working outside office..
going to someplace..
village...
by the land that's so hard...
....
there's wedding too..
that i can't attend..
because my working..
honestly i want go there..
but because i'm lil bit sick..
then i consumpt some medicine which is made me ended up slept easily..

a lot of to do...

but..
there's not yet much biggest thing ever of the month..
almost the end of may...
while i'm busy prepare for my mom and my plan...

one of important thing was dissapear...
my SK...
the 1st one, the latest one and my Taspen...
heoll..
i can remember how i menage the thing before it missing someplace...
...
ah... so angry to myself..
why so careless...
till i write this post i still not yet made a report missing stuff to police office..
i still wishing for miracle..
as like..
i can find the stuff in my house...
or there's gonna be someone with a good heart give it to me...
i wish..
even in my dream i still wish..
...
and now..
when i looking for my ID Card..
i can't find it everywhere that i think i leave it...
heoll...
how can i do this..
why so careless..
even somehow ppl will say..
"Musibah."
that's no one can guess this condition will come in their life...

i feel so bad for myself..
i mean..
i have a good plaaning to do..
but why is getting hard to make it happen..

feel like some ppl pick pocket my thing while i'm outside...
really can't handle it somehow..
even today i lost my appetite..
i just have meal once..
instant noodle...
the rest is snack and white water...

then my job desk get delay for time being that i don't know how long...
...............

i just..
why this year.. 2015..
every uneven month..
there gonna be messed thing happen..
heoll..
how can i handle this...
so tired....

#5monthbeforeKoreanTrip
#iwishicanfindmystuff

Untitled

when gentle rains come
on sleepless night..
seoul lonely..
your memory embrace me..
time to time you cross my mind..

remind me about
one fine day with you..

your sweet smile..
your gentle smell..
all about you
when there's only me in your eyes..

kiss the missing pieces of us..
the time goes by..
and my tears fall down..

have you ever think about me...
just like iam now

you are the sweet summer dream ever..
a season with you..
will last forever in my memories..

i'm a girl
who standing by street lamp by the rain..
the one who missing you so much

Best Time

what's day today?
it's sunday..
common ppl love this day a lot..
but why my heart goes blankly..
for me..
the best time is when my family around..
esp Mom...
being with mom is always good time..
everytime around with her
we always do like..
there something to wash..
we keep said
"Mom, let me do this."
then mom said "No, let me do."
we keep said that line to other...
in the end..
mom do dish
and i wash the clothes..
haha...
cooked, cleaning house, go to market, watching tv, or just talking about thing..
i love do it with mom...
maybe..
i'm a two timer girl...
i can be a mom girl... at other time i'm being oppa fangirling..
that is my world now...
i just wait...
what next..
how if there is real oppa come... haha..
annyeong...
have a good weekend..

Visit Korea 2015, Prepare Time

Finally..
I WILL GO TO KOREA BY THIS FALL...
Hurayyyyyy
yippiiii

hhhhh..
take a deep breathe..
to much excited...
....
Setelah diskusi alot bersama Lia dari tahun ke tahun... haha..
yep
Korean trip ini sudah lama gw bidik..
tepatnya kapan gw mulai chit chat sama Lia juga sudah lupa..
awal tahun 2014 gw ajak dia .. egen... berangkat entah di Oktober atau December..
dgn alasan..
kalo ntargw menikah di 2015 yah susah perginya..
haha..
pede amat ..
yakin merit githu..
padahal yg bakal ngajak ke penghulu belum jelas..
yah namanya nasib siapa tau kan..
...
so skip skip..
karena uang juga masih kembang kempis..
..
padahal tahun kemarin gw gak kemana-mana,,,
gak ikut trip Thailand..
cancel Jawatimur trip...
demi nabung untuk Korea...
.....
terakhir ngetrip 2013 maret..
ke singapore...
langsung terkuras tabungan..
dan musti nabung 2 tahun lebih baru ngetrip lagi haha..
..
setelah searching berbagai tur.. dan masih bingung mau ikut yang mana..
gak pede pergi backpacker sendiri..
karena terganjal pengurusan visa...
daripada di tolak kan...
mending ikut yg pasti..
....
and one day..
Lia cerita kalo ada temannya Dwi yg mau ngetrip ke Korrea lagi...
so here we are..
join trip nya Dwi, dia yg ngurusin semua nya...
jadi kita tinggal bayar gitu....
transfer pertama buat tiket awal Maret kemarin..
tabungan gw langsung kemarau sampai mengering hahaha..
planningnya berangkat di October ntar..

dengan rute
Bjm-Jkt-KL-Seoul

nginap di KL dulu besoknya pagi baru ke Seoul...
oke lah...
sekarang yg jadi pikiran gw adalah...
ntar gw ke Bjm nya pake travel atau ikut jalur air..
duuuhh pergi sendiri bikin worry..
hahaha..
bukannya apa2..
gw kan pemabok beratzz my man...
pastinya bakalan teler kalo sendirian..
huu..
ini aja sudah keliyengan mikirnya..
parrraaaahhhh..
................
tapi ini berlaku trip Muara Teweh - Banjar Masin doank..
kalo udah di Bandara
magically gw sehat walafiat.. heu...
..............
mau nyoba trip air planningnya...
kali aja ada speed boat dari Buntok (BarSel) ke Bjm..
skalian mau Journey gitu.
tapi sampai sekarang belum adainfo yg akurat.
...............
so.. pending and keep calm.....
....................
lagi mikir mau beli travel bag..
koper...
yg bagasi ato 20 ya..
soalnya koper gw hilang pas ngetrip Konser MBlaq 2012 kemarin..
duuuhh..
pengeluaran lageee....
yo wes..
mari nyari uang yg halal dan banyak aja lah....
buat bekal nanti..
ciauww...

Korea I'm Coming.... This Fall

Hey hooo..
March 2015 already....
satu triwulan akan segera berlalu..
time fly so fast ya....
angin bertiup...
daun2 berjatuhan...
gak lama turun hujan... hee..


Do you have a dream?
Biggest Dream? Small dream? or just dream?
Me...
hmmmm
i have... a lot of dream.. haha
the biggest one is travelling around the world..
since i've graduated from academy i kept thinking how to earn a lot of money
but i still can travelling and life fun haha..
so cheesy right.. is'nt it...
then one day..


there's country name Korea, make me feel something..
yeah..
the thing is.. i don't know..
just..
i have go there.. someday..
when i was in junor high school i watched KDrama..
just like any other Drama...
Japan, Taiwan, Chineese.. dll..
like it..
but i never know that one day my heart goes far away about it..
when i on college i like a lot of boy band..
not really.. it's happen since i'm younger..
but i like korean boy band clearly was when i on college.
and.. there's a cute actor that got in my eyes..
Choi Siwon..

18 vs 29..
when i was in grade 2nd on college..
i was crazy over him..
every time i go to internet cafe i searched about him...
and i found he was one of Super Junior member..
......
time goes fly..
i busy with study.. graduated..dating someone that make me forget my craziness over idol.. haha..
you know..
that's can happened.. sometime..
heoll..
love is something deep.. have a lot of meaning..
can make you only look at him..
naman.. barrabwa...

but when i broke-up  with him..
i feel so.. so.. desperate...
hedeuch...
i don't know how much i loved him till make me feel so...empty at that time...
yeah... the memory kept me couldn't like any other guy instead of him..
haha..
pity me..
.....
the break even still inside me..
but i don't wanna go back with him..
coz instead of good memory..
i have a bad memory too.. about him..
hahaha

it's make me.. like...
i do..love him much...
but to get hurt again around him cz my love..
can hurt my pride..
so my pride win
and i burried my stupid loveydovey far far away..
and acted as how cool i was..
haha..
no one know how bleeding my heart..
till i made myself sink into K-Idol world to forget my feeling..
...
all the love that i have...
it's like substitute...
the subject and feeling is the same..
but i replace the object..
soound crazy ...
yeah...
i was crazy one...
...
when i wrote, told, repeat that i like someone .. idol...
that's how i got over my feeling from my ex...
....
so ppl find... how crazy i was as fangirlling...
....
and me to..
at the time i forget that feeling...
and make myself become a crazy hard fangirling...
.....
at one point...
i falling to Korean itself..
the country, language, culture, music etc..
not only like the idol...
....

on 2009..
the first time i wrote article about where the place that i want to go if i go to Korea.
.... so long... haha..
time after time i keep that dream.. that planned..
all of my friend who know's me..
they know that's i want go there..
but not the reason..
everyone just said..
i want go there by simple reason..
hmmm..
it's hard to say in a simple word..
just...
i fallen to this country in a kind of level that i can't explain in easy way..
...
so here i now..
march 2015...
make my decision to visit one of the biggest dream...
i'll go to Korea by this Fall..
October 20, 2015..
so happy..
so excited...
so much feel inside my heart..
wish myself luck about this plan..
and when i arrive there..
i wish a lot of good memory will happen...
yeah..
something that can cure this lonely stupid heartless lol...
can't wait enough for my next Journey...
Koreaaaa...
Oppaaaaa....
Wait for me...
even now i'm not as craziness like i was before to idol oppa...
i still like you... oppa.. ^^
eniwei..
i told one of my fren about my planning last week..
and she was.. so .. so...
haha..
she said..
finally you'll go there..
since i dream from so long time ago she liked so much happy for me..
lol..
i'm not yet tell the other..
hmm cz it's still so early..
maybe i tell them when i'll make visa..
yeahh...
and the other friend mesej me yesterday..
"I have feeling that you will go somewhere."
haha...














Note
hmmm, banyak yg akan berkata
"Apa sich yang bagus dari Korea?"
"Kenapa kamu begitu menyukai korea, para boyband itu?"
mungkin jawabannya akan terdengar kekanakan..
but...
Korea dan para boyband nya lah yg menemani malam2 patah hati gw...
and i'm gone addicted to...
semacam obat..
ketika seseorang terserang sakit.. maka ia akan mencari obat..
at the time when i've got hurt,... there's Kpop music can cured me
mungkin untuk beberapa org akan berbeda..
ada yg obat nya adalah cinta lain..
the problem in me is...
back at the time when i've got hurt i met suck namja...
the one who want get along with me but i knew he has a girlfriend and make me sick..
what's happen on you.. Man..
so i made decision to cure my bleeding heart to being Fangirling...

HeartBreak Event

have you ever experience about heartbreak...
i think everyone have this kind of experience...
but every ppl have different way to solve this...

some will cry all night long..
some will going crazy...
some will speak bulshit about how they hate the ex..
some will going crawling..
and made she or himself beg to ex together...
or.. some.. will fine... maybe cz they are the one who cut the tie...

me..
when i fisrt experience this..
feel like there's a hole in my life..
i though my days gone winter 365 days more without him
the pitch black sky feel so cold like it will shatter


the night air is breezing through my finger cold

goodbye are always unbearably cold

When it’s time for the flowers to bloom
i keep asking and looking for..
after the last goodbye
still hard to find another heart